


Lonely the life

by killerweasel



Category: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-19
Updated: 2012-11-19
Packaged: 2017-11-19 02:39:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/568136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>All villains need a hero to fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lonely the life

Title: Lonely the life  
Fandom: Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog  
Characters: Dr. Horrible, Captain Hammer, the Evil League of Evil  
Word Count: 921  
Rating: PG-13  
A/N: Set after Act III, spoilers for all Acts

**Lonely the life**

I sat up straighter in my chair while listening to Tie-Die speak at length about her latest crime. She always had a crazy look in her eye and I made a mental note to never piss her off. She’d just gone into detail about a how her poisonous roses were going to be delivered to members of the city council when the door flew open to reveal a disheveled Captain Hammer.

“Well if it isn’t the Evil League of Evil.” He stumbled into the room after tripping over his own feet. “And I bet you’re plotting something evil right now.” His next step caused him to bump into the wall, causing the framed news clips of past evil deeds to fall onto the floor. “This looks like a job for Captain Hammer.”

Professor Normal’s Mandibles of Doom began to flash and Dead Bowie did that head tilting thing that creeped me the hell out. I saw Fake Jefferson pick up his Toxic Quill and then Bad Horse let out a whiney which sent a chill down my spine. My eye twitched for the first time in weeks as I got to my feet. I plastered a very fake smile onto my face. “He’s my nemesis, I’ll deal with him.”

I grabbed Captain Hammer by the arm, not an easy feat considering how thick his were, and pulled him out of the room, kicking the door shut behind us.

“Billy.” He tried to poke me in the chest, but I avoided his finger. “I like the new outfit. It looks a lot better than your old one.”

“Don’t call me that, you jackass.” My nose wrinkled as the scent of booze and unwashed superhero reached my nostrils. “Are you insane? What the hell are you doing here?” No one was supposed to know where the Evil League of Evil’s lair was, especially not superheroes.

“I went to your lab to find you and this guy, Slippery or Wet or something, he told me you were in a meeting.” Captain Hammer belched and the smell almost knocked me over. “So I just twisted his arm until he gave me directions.” He frowned. “Or maybe I broke his arm.”

Poor Moist. As if the guy didn’t have enough problems already. “That doesn’t explain why you’re looking for me.” Now that we were out of sight of the lair, I let go of him. “No one’s seen you for a month.”

Captain Hammer wobbled a little before leaning against the wall of a building. “I’ve been busy.”

“Busy doing what? Getting drunk off your ass?” I jabbed him in the chest with my finger. “What kind of a superhero are you? You ran away. You got hurt and you ran away without even looking to see if anyone was injured or even checking on Penny.”

“I...”

“You didn’t even come to her funeral!” Captain Hammer flinched, smacking his head against the bricks. I punched the wall to the side of Captain Hammer’s head. It wasn’t the brightest move in the world since now my hand hurt like a son of a bitch and I was pretty sure I might have broken a finger, but I figured the wall was still softer than his thick skull.

“You think this has been easy for me?” His voice was soft and lacking all the usual bravado. “Everywhere I went, people asked me about her and about how I felt knowing a super villain had killed my girlfriend. I don’t understand why it’s all about her and not about me.” He sank down the wall, curling his arms around his body.

It took a second for his words to sink in. When they did, all I could do was stare at him in disbelief. He was serious too, I could tell by the look on his face. “Wow.” I took a couple steps away from him, rubbing my temple. I’d never actually had someone make my brain hurt like that before. “So what was your plan?” He blinked at me. “Were you going to fight me in front of the League?”

“No.” He used the wall for support to get to his feet. “I had a much better plan.” I raised an eyebrow. “If I took on the entire League by myself, everyone would think I was amazing again and forget about the other stuff.”

The laugh slipped out before I could stop it. “Oh, that’s hysterical. You’ve never even taken on any of them before and you think you’d be able to fight everyone at once? They would have killed you five minutes after you walked through the door.” And I hadn’t even pulled the trigger on my own damn death ray. I wondered what they would do if they ever found out I hadn’t been the one who really killed Penny.

Captain Hammer made a rude noise under his breath. “I could have done it.”

“Maybe in your dreams.” I rolled my eyes before turning away from him. “You need to go home, get cleaned up, and maybe if you try really hard, you can become the hero all your fans seemed to think you were.” With that, I started to walk down the alley.

“Billy, I mean Doctor Horrible, wait a second.” His hand closed around my shoulder hard enough to make me hiss. “You’ll still be my nemesis, right?”

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Then I cleared my throat. “I will on one condition. You never come to League’s lair again.”

“Deal.”


End file.
